I am officially an active member of my single's ward. AKA I just got a calling (but oddly enough they kicked me off of the Visiting Teaching route*, I don't know why). So I am now on the "Provident Living Committee". I know vaguely the meeaning of provident living but I am NOT by any means an expert at living providently. Before this, the only association to the word "provident" was the band This Providence (I love them). I'm sure there was more association I just wasn't aware of it.
When I got this calling I was told that the provident living committee is in charge of the "Linger Longer"s after church. You know Linger Longers, where you stay and eat after church? Yeah, we are incapable of just calling it "stay and eat after church". Proof of this is that our current commmittee spokesperson has changed the name from "Linger Longer" to "Desert and Flirt". This was her second choice, her first choice? "Snack and Mack". But the Bishop would not allow it. There are more names floating around like "Take a cookie, get a Looky". They are obssessed with getting us to date. Do people really flirt and mack on each other? No. So my first order of business when I get to one of those Provident Living Meetings is a motion to change the name to "Food After Church (We know you're hungry)"
All those other names scare people into not coming to eat because they think that strangers will try and marry them right then and there. Although the Provident Living spokesperson has claimed, on many occasions (over a microphone), that she is in fact "marriage material".
Here's to living providently and getting food after 3 hours of church!
*I'm not very aware of my audience (I think we're all friends.) But in case you don't know what Visiting Teaching is, it's something we do at church where everyone gets assigned 2 girls to visit during the month whenever you can. You get a partner and you meet new people this way.
hahah snack and mack! she seriously suggested that?
ReplyDeletedo you also have ward stare?
I like your suggestion the best. Especially the parenthetical addition. If I were on that committee I would second your motion.
ReplyDeletehahaha that was funny. vickie you are funny. come back por favor (please)
ReplyDeleteIm Marriage material too! hahahaha
ReplyDeleteThis fascinates me. I've heard rumors about these types of singles' wards but I've never actually been a part of one. Maybe I'll move to Atlanta once I'm old enough to get married.
ReplyDeleteYes. Everything I said is REAL! i am not exaggerating in the slightest. Quinn, i think that you would love it here. Just because. Thank you Nadia but if i go back, i won't have anything to be funny about. I'll be back ASAP! And no we don't have ward stare but we do have The Meeting After where if you're new or visiting you HAVE to introduce yourself so all the eligible people know your name and can talk to you after and during church.
ReplyDeletewhy don't they keep calling it Linger Longer, for heaven's sake? I don't get why it needs to be changed. But on that note- my friend's ward calls it Munch and Mingle so that's cute and not as threatening as Meet Mingle Munch and Marry.
ReplyDeleteand Quinn- I already called dibs on you and we have linger longer HERE! But sorry Thome- no ward stare.