Growing up Mexican

Growing up I always heard really silly things come out of my parent's mouths.

Example #1: Whenever they saw a "Now hiring" sign they would anounce it--you know, in case you had a friend or a 2nd cousin once removed that needed a job-- but what I heard them say was "Now Hiding". And I would say to them "O_O WHO'S HIDING? mom, who's hiding? why are they hiding!? please tell me." but no one would tell me because they had no idea why I wanted to know who was hiring, it's not like I needed a job when I was six. It wasn't until I was in middle school that I learned the definition of the word hiring that I understood that no one was hiding...

Example #2: The ever so wonderful Mute button on the TV. My dad loves that button. One day he says (in spanish) "Vickie, do you know how to say that word?" and I don't know how to read so I say "no, how do you say it?" And he says "mootee, that's how you say it" It was logical for him to think that was how it was said because in spanish you spell a word exactly the way it sounds and vice versa. I never questioned my dad on how to say the word Mute until I was at a friend's house one time and I asked where the "mootee" button was on their remote...Needless to say, I was embarassed and I hated my dad.

Example #3: In spanish when someone is bugging you or someone is annoying you would use the verb "molestar". One day my cousin came home telling my mom that there was this girl in his class that bothered him at recess and she wanted her to stop so my mom told him that she would talk to his teacher. So as my cousin and I are being dropped off at school she gets out of the car to talk to the teacher and my mom says to the teacher "There is a girl at recess that keeps molesting him, do you think you can talk to her about this?" the teacher says "Molesting him!? Oh of course we'll talk to her!!" The teacher walks away and I say to my mom "mom, I don't think thats how you say that, I think you meant to say 'bothering him'" and my mom says "oh i know that word too but I can also say molesting" I had never heard this word used before and I thought my mom was just using spanglish. It wasn't until I was like in High School that I learned about the word "molesting" and the bad conotation that it has. How emabarrasing.

Other smaller silly examples: instead of saying "leave the girl/boy alone" my dad says "leave alone the girl". I once tried to teach my mom the difference between the words: wood, would, and good. The only difference my mom made in pronouncing those words was...well nothing she pronounces them all like "good". One time my mom asked the elders "do you want me to ride you?" instead of "do you want a ride?". My dad instead of asking for a "texas toast" he asked for a "texas ranger".