Best Part I

I miss having a best friend. I haven't had a very best friend since Marion moved away and left me here to die. I just imagine myself standing on a dirt road Marion driving away and leaving me in the dust. But that didn't happen of course. I just miss doing best friend things.

Don't get me wrong, Tom is a really good best friend but there is nothing like having a girl best friend. When you have a girl best friend you can cry when you feel left out. But not with a guy best friend because they get all weird and they just pat you on the back without saying anything. And they don't understand why there is water coming out of your face. When you have a girl best friend you can get ready for a party together! You can put some music on and dance around while you put your make up on.There are just so many things that girl best friends can do better than a boy best friend. Just the other day I was watching Terminator and it had this scene where Sarah Connor and her BFF are getting ready for a date and they're all dancing and having fun and I almost cried because I want that.*

I have friends obvi, but sometimes I just want someone to be at my house when I get home from work that just wants to be with me and I want them to love me and I want them to play with me. I just described a dog. That's what I need, a dog.

But its like a catch 22 or something becuase to have a girl best friend then you can't have a guy best friend because girls think you can only have one best friend. But I don't want to get rid of my guy BFF because they offer some really great insight sometimes! But a married lady can have a girl best friend...but I can't get a married best friend because I'm not married! And why do you have to be married to be best friends with a married chick! Why can't I get a married BFF? Just cause I ain't got a ring on finger? I'm with Tom all the time....it's the same damn thing as hanging out with another married couple except we don't sleep in the same house at night...and stuff.... ok, the ranting is over.

I'm going to make a Best Friend Application or I'm going to get a dog....I think a dog will do.










*I DO NOT want anyone to come over to my house and ask me to get readyfor a date with them.

Spring time isn't even here.

Spring isn't even here in Rexburg yet but i am already thinking about the fall.

Although I am really excited about the spring. I can't wait to wear this pastel shirt that I bought at the DI a while back. I have worn it once but it must be worn when it is warm and it is sunny out.

The reason I can't wait for the fall is because I really want a dog! My very own puppy! And this time it's serious! You might have already heard that I'm staying in the fall. For 2 reasons: 1) I have to take 7.5-8 more credits in the fall before I can graduate. 2) I have accepted an offer from the lady at the Mansion to be her Nanny. I help her with her kids and her home, in return I get to live in her house across from Smith Park. I can have roommates! If you wanna live with me in the fall feel free to give me a call and I will save you room! So about that puppy! I'm guess that I can have a dog since Saychelle and Bryan have a dog! So that means I'm getting a dog!

Short Blog. Side affect of twitter.

Alright so here's the new blog that I was talking about. I feel like I need to get more comfortable with writing it. It reads kind of weird right now, don't you think? Woe is me. It'll get better I hope.

New and Improved

I'm starting a new blog. I don't know what I'm going to call it yet. It's important what I call it since it's just for a class that I'm taking this semester. Basically I'm going to write about what I read about in the Wall Street Journal. At first I wanted it to be a fashion blog based solely on the things that I find in the WSJ but then I kept reading all these other articles that I really liked and that I wanted to share with my friends so I decided that I just wanted to write about the WSJ in general! It's a really cool thing to receive the newspaper everyday. I'm gonna be honest though, I usually let it pile up 2 or 3 days high before I go pick it up and read it. It's just that I'm not used to getting mail every day! I'm trying to get used to it! When I have this so-called blog up I will let you all know and you can read it if you want. You don't have to cause it's really only for my teacher to see that I am awesome at writing blogs.

Other things:

- My work load is piling up and I am in a state of euphoria. Instead of being stressed I'm just happy. I think it's my body's way of dealing with the stress. My brain is all "Oh my! Vickie, you have so much homework to do...let's find something happy on the internet and just look at it."

- I'm pretty sure that this is the year that I will actually pass FA 100!! Holler!

- I'm starting to freak out about graduating and about what I'm going to do when I go home but once again my mind goes into a state of euphoria my brain is all "Gee wiz Vickie, you're about to graduate! When we go home let's swim all the time and play with Jupiter! OH! Let's get another puppy that looks like this

Money? You don't need money because you can spend all your life living with your mommy and daddy and going to the pool!" oh is that SO!?

- This may or may not be my last summer here. I really just want to live the life that Nadia lives. Marry a guy that has like 5 years left in school. OK!

- My youngest sister is a bad influence on me...

- And yesterday I bought birthday cake oreos. My favorite cookies with cake batter flavor! NOM! needless to say they are gone. They didn't stand a chance. ^.^

100

This, my dear friends, is my 100th post! I have been trying to think of something awesome to write about. Or maybe something sentimental, something that would have you in tears but alas I could not think of anything awesome or sentimental to blog about. I also thought about writing something super funny but I thought I would leave the funny blogging to one Tom Widdison. So instead I have decided to write a list. Just plain and simple. A list of 100 different things that I have thought about, that I have done, that I never thought I would do or that I hate. You don't have to read it all though but thanks for the attention thus far.

1. I've been thinking lately that 1 hour just isn't enough time these days
2. I never thought I would be the partial owner of a cat, being a dog person myself.
3. I never thought I would live to see the day where I have 2 semesters left of school.
4. I never thought I would be away from my family for 1 whole year.
5. I am missing Christmas with my family and for some reason that makes me feel so grown up.
6. How did I live life without reading Harry Potter until now.
7. I also feel grown up because Tomas and I grilled a Salmon!
8. 100 things is looking like a lot to jot down...
9. I now know first hand how sad my dad gets during the Holidays.
10. I really like that Adele song right now.
11. What am I going to do after I graduate. Everything that I have done and worked for has been leading up to my graduation and I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
12. I have to get married.
13. I miss my dog.
14. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way
15. I want to see the good everyone and usually they'll live up to it. Usually.
16. I got a journal to write in because I really want to be able to remember everything.
17. I forget to write in my journal
18. I want to make a quilt
19. I can't wait for next semester.
20. I can't wait to be warm
21. I've been listening to a lot of hip hop and r&b. So much so that I don't even know what Indie bands are anymore. jk. (am i?)
22. I started running and I became better at it than I was last year.
23. I love the walking dead
24. The age I will be this coming year. Should I make some goals? Nah. Soon I will have no purpose in life
25. I am looking forward to going home so that I can make money and shop till I drop.
26. I want new (awesome) shoes for graduation. I bought new shoes for high school graduation. I can't remember anything about that except my shoes and the feeling of accomplishment.
27. I never thought that I would love Gossip Girl as much as I love it right now.

Things I want for this year.

28. I want to be good. At everything that I want to be good at.
29. I want to be consistant.
30. I want to be a runner.
31. I want to be a good student.
32. I still want to get in a fight. A physical altercation, if you will. But let's be honest, that won't happen.
33. I want to be nicer to strangers.
34. i'm never going to get 100 and keep your interest so I'll just finish right meow.

Unlock the Answer for the Future

My dad is coming to visit me!! Because I am so excited to see him I have been thinking about him a lot lately. I really miss him. He's the coolest dad ever and he's the funniest guy I've ever met. I've written about him before on this blog, I think, so I'll get to the point. The things that I have mostly been thinking about are the things that I have learned from him.

When I was a kid, I must have been 8 or 9, there was a lock floating around in my parents room. It was just a regular lock, the kind you have to have a combination for. The kind you turn to the right then the left then the right again. I didn't know what it was for but I was intrigued, probably because of it shiny peculiarity. One night I grabbed it on the way into my parents room and I sat on their bed. My mother didn't even look up from what she was doing but she said "put it back." My dad looked over and I looked at him and said "What is it?". " A lock," he said and i replied "I want to open it. Tell me how to do it." He just kind of looked at me and as he scooted closer to me he said. "Ok." It sounded like when you know that someone is in for way more than they bargained for but you let them have it anyway. He proceeded to teach me how to turn the lock in the right order and with the right numbers so that I could do it myself. At first I was having the time of life. I felt like a spy. I felt like if I could open this lock I would be on my way to opening every lock I came across. He had to explain it to me a couple of times and then he felt that I was ready to do it all by myself. I tried once, twice, three times and I failed all my attempts at opening it. I looked up at him and I said, with defeat, "Dad, I can't." His response was "Yes you can, try it again." I tried it again and my efforts were to no avail. This time though, I got mad and I threw the lock and I yelled "I CAN'T DO IT! I'M LEAVING!!" and what did my dad do? He got mad! He was pissed! He grabbed my arm before I leapt off the bed and he said "You CAN do it! Try it again! You wanted to learn to open the lock! SO DO IT! You can not leave this room until you open that lock." I was so mad, how could he sit there and tell me that I could do something that I clearly wasn't able to do. I sat there and as I let some tears fall down my face I tried it again. I don't know how long it took me to open the lock but I did it.

Something that my dad always said to me was "Are you going to let it defeat you? You are smarter than (fill in the blank)" The blank was usually something inanimate or an idea. It was usually a math problem or something. So he'd say " Are you going to let it defeat you? You're smarter than that math problem."

One time, he tried to teach me to how to drive his truck (a manual), he got frustrated with me and as he let me out of the drivers seat he said to me, "I can't believe this truck is smarter than you." And on the way home I felt like a failure. But to become smarter than something or someone sometimes you have to feel like a failure. This story has no end because I still have not learned to drive his truck but someday I will. That stupid truck ain't got NOTHING on me!

The lesson my dad taught me was to never give up. Never let something stand in your way or make you feel dumb. Now in my relatively old age, I am thankful for the night that he made me stay in his room until I unlocked that lock because now I have the determination to finish what I started. And I mean what I say or I don't say it all. Although sometimes I only apply this to things that I really really want to learn. Like crafts. Knitting, sewing, needle point and such. Sometimes for school.

I am thankful for my dad. Sometimes he thinks that I resent him but I don't. I may have at one point resented him and before that I may have sworn that I hated him but that was just the Teen Angst talking. Now that I've grown up I feel nothing but gratitude and indebtedness towards him (and my mother of course). I love him and I know that he raised me the best way he knew how.

(Noemi, you can read this to Dad if you feel the need to.)

Can't Stop Won't Stop

Ever since Noemi told me about the song "Alejate de mi" by Latin pop group Camila, I can't stop listening to it! It's a great song.

Other things things that I can't stop doing include but are not limited to:

-reading Harry Potter

-renting movies from the library

-eating candy

-eating ice cream

-listening to Eisley

Short list but it's true.

Also this is my favorite SpongeBob Sqaure Pants clip. I love SBSP!

I'll treat ya like I missed ya.

I'll treat this blog like I missed it. Honestly I don't really miss it all that much but I was just reading Noemi's blog and I realized that there a lot of things on her blog that she doesn't tell me about which is fine because obvi she just forgets to tell me. But it got me thinking that there are probably a lot of things that I forget to tell her. So I will start to update this blog if only to make sure she knows everything.

Something else that got me thinking about blogging is that Saturday I guess I'm going to be hiking Table Rock with some friends. I'm pretty scared. You wanna know why? Ok.

I'm afraid

1. that I will slow everyone down and I will only be a nuisance to them all.

2. that I will die

3. that I will literally stop breathing

4. how long does it take for one to get used living in such high altitude when said person is from GA? I'm afraid that I won't be able to handle the elevation

5. that I will have to run from a moose or bear (or any wild animal for that matter)

6. that I will fall

I'm just a scaredy cat I think. I don't know if this is a very good idea. I mean, I worked out almost every other day this semester. There were a few weeks in total that I didn't work out but still every time I climb R mountain I want to die. The only thing keeping me from cowering like a dog, in a tent, while every one else climbs Table rock is my fear that I will get eaten by a bear and/or a moose and no one will hear my screams for help because they are too busy looking out onto Idaho's boobs (the Tetons is french for boobs. Look it up! It's true! The french are perverts. Look that up too!) So either way I'm a wimp.

Onto more pressing matters. I have a tradition of blogging my will before I do anything scary. Once I made a will before I climbed out onto my friend's roof. The point being that in the event that I die, just fight over my things. I'm talking American Gladiator type stuff. Oh except I want Noemi to have my phone so she can know the wonder it is to own an iPhone. Oh and in case I die I choose Tom to delete all my text messages (wouldn't want you all to not show up at my funeral just because I said something mean about you via text message. JK I don't say mean things about my friends, but maybe I say mean things about your friends. You'll never know). Tell my mother that my last words were "I love my mom." My last words may very well be "son of B****, motherF******, i knew i shouldn't have hiked this so-called table rock!" but you tell my mother that they were the former! And Noemi, if I die, change my facebook status to "Dead" and my relationship status to in a Relationship with the Grim Reaper or something funny like that. If you don't do it, I'll haunt you.

I think I have everything covered. On a lighter note, IF I survive this hike you'll get to see lot's of pretty pictures taken from my phone! They WILL be edited on instagram because i am NOT a real photographer and instagram makes me feel better about that. Say something!! That's what I thought.

I'd better go to sleep, it's getting late and I'm becoming more belligerent by the minute. Wish me luck, pray for me, send good vibes my way or wish upon a star that i will make it through this adventure.

Music

So this whole thing about illegal downloading. I don't want to say anything incriminating you know, but let's talk about it. I believer what the guy in that video was saying because I've done that before. I have gotten a CD that I haven't downloaded and I have either gone to a show and bought something or I buy the CD. Sometimes I forget that illegal downloading affects big pop artists as well. I just can't imagine that it affects them because, look at how much money they get! I mean, Lady Gaga is not a poor artist struggling to buy food because her music is being downloaded illegally. Trey Songz sings about how he is "a walking bank". The phenomenon of illegal music downloading started with napster but there is evidence to show that CD sales didn't actually slow down until after Napster was shut down. Here is an article all about it. and is the video about illegal downloading So this whole thing about illegal downloading. I don't want to say anything incriminating you know, but let's talk about it. I believer what the guy in that video was saying because I've done that before. I have gotten a CD that I haven't downloaded and I have either gone to a show and bought something or I buy the CD. Sometimes I forget that illegal downloading affects big pop artists as well. I just can't imagine that it affects them because, look at how much money they get! I mean, Lady Gaga is not a poor artist struggling to buy food because her music is being downloaded illegally. Trey Songz sings about how he is "a walking bank". The phenomenon of illegal music downloading started with napster but there is evidence to show that CD sales didn't actually slow down until after Napster was shut down.

a video about illegal downloading.

The music industry is doing a lot to try to stop or slow illegal music downloading. They are putting out music slower than they used to. Who really knows how that's going to help? But who am I to say, they are the experts right? Something else that they did was to sell digital copies of music, i.e iTunes. Good idea? Bad idea? I think it's a good idea, but now the music on iTunes is going up. Is it inflation or is because there is still a lot of illegal downloading going on?

I think that the big music tycoons could take a few pointers from some indie labels. There are a lot of indie bands that stream their CDs on the internet for free. It's streaming on the internet for a certain amount of time and by the end of the streaming people want that CD. Of course it depends on the quality of the music but in general I think this idea is genius!

What do you think? Tell me your ideas and stuff!

The music industry is doing a lot to try to stop or slow illegal music downloading. They are putting out music slower than they used to. Who really knows how that's going to help? But who am I to say, they are the experts right? Something else that they did was to sell digital copies of music, i.e iTunes. Good idea? Bad idea? I think it's a good idea, but now the music on iTunes is going up. Is it inflation or is because there is still a lot of illegal downloading going on?

I think that the big music tycoons could take a few pointers from some indie labels. There are a lot of indie bands that stream their CDs on the internet for free. It's streaming on the internet for a certain amount of time and by the end of the streaming people want that CD. Of course it depends on the quality of the music but in general I think this idea is genius!

What do you think? Tell me your ideas and stuff!

One day I'll hate you

I'm not a very big John Mayer fan. I just don't really listen to him but this entire week his song "Half of My Heart" has been stuck in my head. All week I have woken up singing this song. Everyday! The part that most sticks out to me is the part where he sings "Down the road, later on
you will hate that I never gave more to you than half of my heart" idk why.

Not so much about Grammar.

Warning: If you are of the male species and you don't like words like "period" stop reading. But if you stop reading you are passing up the chance to learn more about your female counterpart.

My period always takes me by surprise. After 9 years you'd think that the element of surprise would be gone, but it's not. The only time that it didn't sneak up on me was when I was on birth control. I mean in 2004 I didn't get my period that entire year. That was odd. After I started college my cycle was starting to get somewhat normal. Any way the reason for this blog is Mood Swings really. I get the WORST mood swings! I should be able to tell when I'm going to get my period by my mood swings but I'm always too preoccupied with, crying, getting mad, losing my temper or trying to kill myself(joke) that I forget to think "OH I know why I feel this way!" Do you feel this way? I usually get annoyed at one specific person. I can never really tell who it will be but 8 out of 10 times it's Noemi (I'm sorry noemi) But recently it was Tyler W. I wanted to punch him in the face when usually I love that kid. I also cry really easily. Usually at something that someone says to me. But I never cry in front of people(unless I'm watching a movie but movies always make me cry) because I don't like to let people know that they have the power to hurt me. Plus I have no real good reason to be crying. One time I cried for 3 days straight because of the lack of communication I had with a friend. SO DUMB! I get irritated really easily and I just yell. And I get really quiet, and stop talking to people so as not to yell at anyone. Mood swings suck!

When I got my iPhone I got this app called Period tracker(shout out to Kynslie for showing me that app). Did it erase the element of surprise? NO! EFF THAT APP!! Ahem... But it did show me something really interesting. Biology is a funny thing. Have you girls with boyfriends(or boys with girlfriends, if you're still reading) noticed that maybe like for week or so you're like really aggressive with said boyfriend? It's cause you're fertile! It's your animal extincts trying to get the best of you! Good thing we have self control right? right!

Anyway, these are all just things that I was thinking about on the way from school today. I was also thinking about a nap. And the really weird weather that we've been experiencing. I'm freaking out here!

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

My sister is back from her mission and sometimes I forget that I used to be social! ha
It's been awesome teaching her the ways of the world. Justin Bieber and what not. She really likes Fun. which I am happy about because they are going to play here in Atlanta in December and we are going to go. Originally Marion Dyer was supposed to also go to that show but things change.

I would like to give a shout out to my peeps, the ones that kind of took her place while she was on her mission and I was left to fend for myself. And I can thank you all now since I survived.

Thank you Zach for lunch, for music, for afternoons, for bikes!, for tacos, for movies, for pizza, for salt lake, for the winter not alone, for grocery shopping, for shows and for the rest of the stuff I can't remember.

Thank you Tom for "Tom jokes", oreos, rides, snacks, 10 hour road trips, bon fires, late nights even though you work early in the morning, for expensive gifts, for texting me and keeping me from becoming a recluse, for besties, for letting me follow you around like a lost puppy, for fixing Noemi's iPod, bike rides, watching scary movies and chick flick with me, for inside jokes and outside jokes, for introducing me to Boston and Marion and for being Ford's roommate, otherwise I would not have grown to kind of understand him and to love him like I do now, thank you for letting me hold hands with you (starting in the winter when I had to pry your hand open and ending with you just knowing that if we sat next to each other I would ultimately end up holding hands with you, you are a good friend.).

Thank you Marion for being the girl version of Noemi's replacement (Tom being the boy version), thank you for rides in yo SUV ma!, for half of your food, for cocoa bean, for clothes, for fashion advice, for boy advice, for long talks about human nature, for introducing me to Bryce and Ladd, for quesadillas with jam, for devo lunch, for dressing up on tuesdays, for a sanctuary in the winter when all was lost, for play time in the summer, for my failing grades in the summer, for tanning, for the sandbar, for letting me borrow your shoes, for shows, for letting me cry, for cutting my hair, for letting me live with you for a week, for letting me live with Kaylie for some of the 10 day break, for loving puppies as much as I do, for much much more thank you.

Thank you Boston for being so extra-ordinary, for knowing more about life than I do, for our drinking party at the park, for loving puppies also as much as I do, for just being my friend, for surprise meetings in the library with Brittani, for making me laugh, for your boston accent, for making me braid your hair.

Thank you Kat, Gatita, Katelyn, for agreeing to let me live with you and being my roommate, i would have been homeless with out you and I would have been depressed, thank you for pillow talk, for late nights, for slutty comments, for leggy dresses, for your awesome wardrobe, for watching scary movies with me and screaming really loud, for decorating my side of the room for my birthday, for being happy to see me, for being an awesome roommate, for wearing cheetah print tights.

Thank you Bryce, for going to the water park with me, for understaning my situation because we were in the same situation, for being crazy Bryce!

Thank you Harper, for going on that "Harper-Vickie day in SLC", for getting all those girls to live with you in that house. The vegbo house! I will never forget it, for making awesome themed parties and themed outings.

Leah isn't around but I'd like to thank her because she is something else.

Thank you Tyler for still wanting to hang out with me.

Thank you Emily (who won't see this), for the beach, the club, jordan!, for food, for late nights, for making church bearable when I thought I had lost all my friends.

Thank you Saychelle and Rachel for making my winter here so incredible!

Thank you Kynslie for crafts, for boy talk, for shows, for your boyfriend, for moving here, for crafting with me, for being funny and witty, for hanging out with me, for letting me sleep over and thank you Jamie for the same.

Thank you Morgan.

Deeeeep Breath.

I think that is about it but if I forgot someone I will edit this ASAP!

Friends? BEST friends.

I did an event Saturday morning*. It was the North Point Mall Funfest. I got to paint mostly children. Among those children I painted a lot of "Best Friends". And I noticed a pattern that I should have noticed a long time ago. One is always quieter than the other. I guess you can't have 2 talkative girls in a friendship. One must step up and be the boss. 2 girls in particular stand out. This set of Best Friends was a little white girl and a little black girl. (I'm not racist I just don't want to assume she's African-American just cause her skin was black. She could have been Dominican.) Guess who was the talkative one? That's right, the little white girl! I asked her what she wanted painted and I painted her, then I asked her friend what she wanted painted on her face and little white girl didn't even let her talk! She answered for her friend. She was so bossy.

My BEST friend is coming back!!



*In case you weren't aware, I got a job Face Painting and (temporary) Tattooing with Air Illustrations (they're on facebook look em up.)

40 Hour Train Back to Penn

Here's my long awaited list of favorite things from my trip last weekend.

- Laura, my boss, can talk to ANYTHING. I don't talk in the car so she talked the whole way up and the whole way back and I really only had to say "oh yeah." "mhmm" "yes" "that's true" "tell me more"
- Cincinnati, OH
- Guy on a his motorcycle with 5 raccoon tails on the back of said motorcycle.
- Being out in the middle of nowhere.
- thinking i was in a scary movie like Texas Chainsaw
- (this is not my fave but you need to know) NO RADIO. no music whatsoever, just Laura talking.
- Laura can drive, talk on the phone, and write something down!
- Sleeping while Laura got a phone call (because she can talk for hours)
- driving on bridges
- Amish people at the Travel America we were at.
- Little Amish boy with his Amish overalls and Chuck Taylors!
- Falling asleep when my head hits the pillow because it would be rude to sleep in the car and leave Laura to talk to herself
- Amish teenage boys walking into town. There was 2. They were stroooong!
- MONSTER TRUCKS!!
- all the rednecks were so incredibly nice! (i call them rednecks cause thats what they call themselves)
- very attractive redneck men in boots and carhartt jackets. love it
- Every man that we talked to that was married would talk about their wife like they were THE most beautiful person in the world. every chance they got.
- Jokes!
- MONSTER TRUCKS!!
- a 7 year old boy in a mini monster truck!
- Cleveland, OH
- Little Italy in Cleveland
- Lakeview Cemetery
- President Garfield's Monument
- Tiffany Stained glass
- All the different trees in the cemetery
- Postcards for Noemi
- Real Italian luuuunch!
- Joey Sylvester! SUPER nice guy and cute!!
- I can't get over how nice everyone was!
- Evil Knievel guys were nice
- The Smoky Mountains/Blue Ridge Mountains were AWESOME!
- Finally getting home!

PA

Tomorrow I leave for Pennsylvania to paint faces at the Cornfield 500 (look it up on facebook. It's a 14 hour drive from her to PA. I'm pretty excited. I'll document my stay by making a list of my favorite things that I see on the way and also my favorite things I see during Cornfield 500 and I will report back ASAP!

It hurts so good.

Remember this?

Reminds me of this

She's a brat, he's a jerk.

Why don't people EVER see that they are dating an undeserving jerk/brat?

But I REALLY like this song. Has anyone noticed that ever since Chris Brown beat Rihanna she's had this thing for people hurting her. (ie Rude Boy). Kinda creepy!

Last Night

"I can't compete with all your damn ideas
This isn't working out for you or me
The truth is I'm too tired to play pretend
This is goodbye, this is the end."

I finally get what she means. I thought she was trying to compete with his ideas to make the world better or something but in the back of my mind I knew there was more to it. I finally figured out that she is tired of competing for him with all his "damn ideas" of what she should be like, or look like. I finally understand. I'm glad she left him.

Fatal

Fatalist.

Defeatist.

I am one or either or both of those.

There is just no use in fighting against what is happening. If it is meant to happen it will happen sooner or later. There are some things though, that I would fight for even though I know that ultimately it is not up to me.

Material World

So remember when I told you about the chick that changed the name of our linger longer to "dessert and flirt"? Just a quick update on her....She's still the spokesperson for our provident living committee. (I still have not been called for a meeting. Should I ask them to call me? Or should they already know?) Anyway, once again she's up to her crazy antics! This might sound like a joke....but I assure that it is NOT a joke. Last Sunday after announcing our "dessert and flirt" she went ahead and bestowed certain people "marriage material points"!!! O_0 ummmm.....what!? I KNOW!! So she's up there announcing the time and theme of our D&F and she just hands out marriage material points. I was so shocked I started laughing really hard. I mean really really hard. Cause, who does that? She gave some girl "marriage material points" for dressing nice and gave some points to a guy for the same thing. The funny thing is, although I'm kind of annoyed at this, I have to admit that after my laughing fit I thought, "why not me?". So along with dressing real cute on Sundays (as usual) I will now be actively looking for her at church and complimenting her on her outfit so that she can notice mine and give me marriage material points and I can go back to not caring about being marriage material. I just want to be able to say "Marriage material? Yup, that's me! I have points to prove it!"

Well, I gotta go pick out my outfit for tomorrow!

"Love is a losing game"

That's what Amy Winehouse says.

Lately I've been sort of pondering about love. I've just always wanted to know the feeling you know? Plus I've been reading Pride and Prejudice. Also I just love all things romance. Probably not as much as Leah though. I know that the love portrayed in the movies is false and I know that there's more to it than the movies show. But what IS it!? I've asked a few people and some of these people's answers sound more like Julia Roberts in this scene of The Mexican. Except that the question isn't the same and that in the question of "love" there is no right answer.

And I'll leave you with my favorite quote from Pride and Prejudice thus far...

"Such a change in a man of so much pride excited not only astonishment but gratitude-- for love, ardent love, it must be attributed; and as such its impression on her was of a sort to be encouraged, as by no means unpleasing, though it could not be exactly defined. She respected, she esteemed, she was grateful to him, she felt a real interest in his welfare; and she only wanted to know how far she wished that welfare to depend upon herself..."

I think of all the pondering I've ever done the one thing that I felt was true was that love is a mutual respect for each other.